Creamy**JuicY

It all started on one disastrous day. First she lost the person she loved, then came her accident.
I was looking at her face...she was pale and tired. Some scars around her eyes and front... Taking cigarette after cigarette and aking for more black coffee. The bottom has fallen out of her world and she, so calm, so poised, found herself at a loss.

The weather was amazing...everybody was walking, jogging, sitting in a cafe. I was looking around us...everybody was smiling and laughing exept her. She wasn’t talkative “to make her bag empty”... i was pushing her to talk and to evacuate the pressure she is hiding, but it didn’t work. We gave the tips to the waiter and left the cafe. I was thinking how can i break that silence and that sad ambiance. She asked me to drive her home...but i didn’t listen to her. I convinced her to enjoy the sun for the few hours left. I know perfectly that the sun didn’t work and won’t work for her, that’s why i stoped my car in front of theatre to check if there is something interesting around there...she was little upset, telling me she is not in the mood for movies. I didn’t listen to her, i paid two tickets for the next show...we had to wait 30 min more. Meanwhile we bought popcorn and coke and looked around the movies posters...
The movie i picked was extremely funny...i did it on purpose to bring her some smiles.
During the projection of the film, i couldn’t believe my eyes and my ears...she was transformed into another person...even she was shocked with the popcorn because of laughing...i noticed some tears in her eyes...that’s because of the crazy laughters we had.
We spent 2 hours non-stop laughing. When we went out of the theatre, i saw sparkles in her eyes, sparkles of joy, of life, of relaxion... her big beautiful smile took a remarkable place on her face. Inconsciousely, she was talking more about everything and nothing at the same time. We turned the music on and loud in my car. I was singing with “Alanis Morissette” ...and she followed me, secretly in the beggining then when i started dancing with my head and hands, she increased her voice.

I felt satisfaction when i saw her in another state 180 degree different than when i first met her today. I felt happy to heal some of her pain by a simple method...all that thanks to some laughters. It costs nothing... it is free, valuable and 100% efficient.
If you want to help someone feeling in blue or if you want to help yourself, bring the funniest person around you or watch a comedy...believe me it works!

It is 12:10 pm, in 30 min i have to leave, to live some in the hell. Actually it has been a while that i'm doing that everyday...today is the day before the last one. I couldn't handle the pressure anymore...i was exhausted to wake up 4 am, to satisfy my consciousness...so i slept back. I was supposed to wake up early, at least at 7am. But today i woke up at 9:10 am and worse yet i stayed in the bed till 10 in the morning. i wasn't thinking about what the hell is reserving me today...i was thinking only of tomorrow...tomorrow, i will be done from everything...i will skip the hell for a while...

Even yesterday night i was supposed to prepare for my daily trip to hell, but i didn't do anything...tried to escape by all the ways...because i was already hurted enough from my previous visit...

I did my best to avoid the fire, i killed myself for 2 weeks while people were enjoying their life to avaoid the pain i feel now...but unfortunatly, the luck wasn't besides me this time.

In the 2 previous hours, i tried to concentrate some, did all my best to prepare myself..may be i can freeze the hell. Before sitting here, i just watched some pictures, revised some memories, read my old diaries, looked around my room and smiled different time: i told myself " after all, hell won't last that much...even it burnt you a lot this time, you have an open heaven waiting for you somewhere...after all i got the brain, the health and the talent and life is not about how much or how time you have been hurt, it is about hoW did you react to heal and to decrease the injuries left" I took my confidence back from the simple things around me, from my world and from knowing really who i am. I don't care the hell now...after all it is goin to be over tomorrow... exams will be over.