Creamy**JuicY

It is 12:10 pm, in 30 min i have to leave, to live some in the hell. Actually it has been a while that i'm doing that everyday...today is the day before the last one. I couldn't handle the pressure anymore...i was exhausted to wake up 4 am, to satisfy my consciousness...so i slept back. I was supposed to wake up early, at least at 7am. But today i woke up at 9:10 am and worse yet i stayed in the bed till 10 in the morning. i wasn't thinking about what the hell is reserving me today...i was thinking only of tomorrow...tomorrow, i will be done from everything...i will skip the hell for a while...

Even yesterday night i was supposed to prepare for my daily trip to hell, but i didn't do anything...tried to escape by all the ways...because i was already hurted enough from my previous visit...

I did my best to avoid the fire, i killed myself for 2 weeks while people were enjoying their life to avaoid the pain i feel now...but unfortunatly, the luck wasn't besides me this time.

In the 2 previous hours, i tried to concentrate some, did all my best to prepare myself..may be i can freeze the hell. Before sitting here, i just watched some pictures, revised some memories, read my old diaries, looked around my room and smiled different time: i told myself " after all, hell won't last that much...even it burnt you a lot this time, you have an open heaven waiting for you somewhere...after all i got the brain, the health and the talent and life is not about how much or how time you have been hurt, it is about hoW did you react to heal and to decrease the injuries left" I took my confidence back from the simple things around me, from my world and from knowing really who i am. I don't care the hell now...after all it is goin to be over tomorrow... exams will be over.